The Dynamic Self
Self Portrait 2020
Painting in a studio setting.
Prompt:
The prompt for this artwork presented a fascinating challenge, introducing a new dimension for me to explore. The task at hand required creating a self-portrait devoid of any visual aids, such as photographs or mirror reflections.
At its core, the objective was to center on one's internalized sense of their body, emotions, and movements, translating these elements into either a representational or abstract form. The inspiration for this painting drew from Maria Lassnig's concept of "Body Awareness."
Coined by Lassnig, the term "Body Awareness" encapsulates her approach, where she consciously delves into the perception of her own body. Her work evolves into a visual language, a means through which she articulates her bodily sensations.
The Dynamic Self
Acrylic and soft pastels on canvas
18”x24”
On a personal level, the concept of the "self" is, in my perception, far from a constant entity; it's dynamic and ever-changing. Individuals, too, are dynamic, multifaceted, and inherently unique. Our evolution is an intricate interplay influenced by our surroundings and experiences—physical, emotional, and mental. Given these dynamics, I was drawn to explore the notion of the evolving self, aiming to capture the present moment similar to a screenshot. It's like freezing a frame from a movie and in this case—a version of myself and my emotions encapsulated on an 18x24 canvas.
This painting emerged during a turbulent period marked by confusion, sadness, and anger. A clash of thoughts and impatience reached a point where traditional brushes were abandoned, and my fingers became the tools to lay paint on the canvas surface. The intention was to let emotions flow through the constant pressure of fingertips against canvas, transforming the experience into a tactile and sensory journey rather than one hyper-focused on visual aesthetics. This deliberate approach welcomed messiness, allowing colors to clash, resulting in a heightened sense of rawness.
As complex individuals, we often grapple with feelings and thoughts that become difficult to comprehend. I sensed a parallel in my own experience, prompting me to transcribe these emotions onto the canvas, weaving them into layers of paint. The act involved a repetitive cycle of writing and smudging, leaving visible traces without fully revealing the content of the work. This deliberate ambiguity served as a mechanism to challenge and invite viewers to delve into the painting, encouraging them to decipher the concealed thoughts hiding in plain sight.